Ackley Attack Wiki

James and the Express Title Card

Narrator: Sam, Ben, Henry and Gordon were alone with James. Although the Fat Controller was beginning to think well of him, whenever a chance came the other engines would talk of nothing but bootlaces.

Engines: Remember the time one had to be used to get you out of trouble, James!

Sam: (whisper) James, talk about engines getting shut up in tunnels and stuck up

Narrator: James did what Sam said, but they wouldn't listen.

Gordon: You talk too much little James. A fine strong engine like me has something to talk about!

Ben: And what is that, Gordon?

Gordon: I'm the only engine who can pull the express! When I'm not there, they need two engines! Think of that!

Sam: I'd rather not

Gordon: I've pulled expresses for years, and have never once lost my way. I seem to know the right line by instict!

Ben: I hope Gordon remembers that the signalman sets the points to make engines run on the right lines!

Narrator: But Gordon was so proud he had forgotten.

Gordon: Wake up James! It's nearly time for the express! Ben is helping me pull it! What are you and Sam doing? Odd jobs?

Sam: If by odd jobs, you mean shunting then... yes!

Gordon: Oh well we'll have to begin somewhere don't we? Run along now and get our coaches! Don't be late!

Ben: Good luck, Sam!

Sam: Thanks Ben!

Narrator: Sam and James ran to fetch Gordon's coaches. They were all shining with lovely new paint! James was careful not to bump them, and they followed him smoothly into the station singing happily.

Coaches: We're going away! We're going away!

Sam: Nice to see you happy! Let's make room for Gordon and Ben, James!

James: I wish I was going with them, Sam! I would love to pull the express and go flying along the line!

Sam: I would to James, but unfortunately we already have a job to do!

Narrator: Gordon, with much noise and blowing of steam, got ready to back down to the train. Ben was in Gordon's cab ready to start and the Fat Controller was in the train with other people and as soon as they heard the guard's whistle Gordon started.

Ben: We're starting! We're starting!

Gordon: Look at me now! Look at me now!

Narrator: Gordon puffed, and the coaches glided after him.

Gordon: Poop poop poop poop poop! Goodbye little James, see you tomorrow!

(Yeah, the Writers and Producers forgot to put in "Later"... but we're cheap like that.)

Sam: They're going... they're going... and they're gone!!! Alright James, let's get back to work!

Narrator: James pushed some trucks onto their proper sidings, and went to fetch the coaches for another train. He had just bought the coaches to the platform when he heard a warnful noise. There was Gordon trying to slink into the station without being noticed.

James: Hello Gordon. Is it tomorrow?

Narrator: Gordon didn't answer. He just let off steam feebly.

Sam: What happened Ben? Did Gordon lose his way?

Ben: No. It was lost FOR him. We were switched off the main line onto the loop. We had to go all around and back again!

James: Perhaps it was instict!

Narrator: Meanwhile, all the passengers hurried to the booking office.

Passengers: We want our money back!

Narrator: But the Fat Controller climbed on a trolley and blew the guard's whistle so loudly that they all stopped to look at him. Then, he promised them a new train at once.

The Fat Controller: Gordon can't do it! Sam, can you and James pull the train instead?

Sam: Yes Sir. We'll try sir!

Ben: And I'll come along too to help!

Narrator: So Ben jumped into James' cab, James was coupled on and everyone got in.

The Fat Controller: Do your best, James!

James: Come along! Come along!

Sam: You're pulling the coaches very well James!

Ben: You're almost at the last station, James!

Narrator: Bridges and stations flashed by, the passengers cheered and they soon reached the last station. Everyone said thank you to James and Ben, Sam and the Fat Controller were very pleased with him.

Sam: You're very good with the express James!

Ben: Yeah. You are indeed really useful!

The Fat Controller: Well done! Would you like to pull the express sometime!

James: Oh yes please!

Narrator: Next day, when James and Sam came by Ben and Gordon were pushing trucks.

Sam: Hi Gordon! How are you enjoying shunting?

Gordon: I like some quiet work for a change!

Ben: I'm teaching Gordon how to teach trucks manners!

Gordon: Ben told me that you and James did well with those coaches!

James: Yeah we did!

Gordon: Good! We'll show them!

Narrator: And Gordon gave his trucks a bump. James and Gordon are now good friends. Ben and Sam let James pull the express to give Gordon a rest. Gordon never talks about bootlaces and they are all quite agreed on the subject of trucks.